Uh uh you cant tell me nothin,...

something i may observe at times...


when people are lost in the world there are several categories people fall into...
some wander or search, some look for hope, ask for help or take drastic measures to find their way--or be noticed.
lonliness, being nonsocial and too fearful of expressing yourself are the wanderers. In some form they know what they want but do not know where to go looking for it--Yet they do. They know they will have to ask someone, let someone try and help them, or trust someone to point them in the right direction. They think severely on any topic to then build up the courage and panic. How can something be so hard for one person? The issue of pride comes in. Also trust. How can i let myself confide in this stranger, even if they are nice. It is a risk everyone must take sometime. The dwellers just worry too damn much.
The outgoing people who thrust themselves onto others looking for comfort and someplace to belong are the people who look for hope. The sluts and whores everyone knows are in this category. They are the ones who want love from everyone and everything. They may hardly think or appear not to, but then they are very bright or have some great ideas. Who knows what is right or wrong--everyone is right! or wrong. is something that runs through their head wether they know it or not.
The smart people who can think on their feet and talk their way through their life are the people who ask for help. Many are successful and find their way using anybody they can for information and they learn as they go. They try and help the wanderers. They talk a lot. they make you feel loved. They will also do anything to have control of their lives but learn as everyone does that people dont have much control over what can happen to them but CAN make very important decisions.
And the people who take drastic measures can be people from other categories but mostly are the people who change to get accepted-to get noticed. they dont know who they are--or are totally different around people they dont know. These are the ones who may be in a high state of depression with mood swings and seek a much better life. but get lost. and will do anything for a change. they may be very dark alone but once around people, they will be very joyful thoughtful listening and caring--when really, all they want is someone to care and listen to them and will do anything to get noticed by that one person.



on a less lighter note...i know these people wont read this so heck with it. :D

asta:you have always been my best friend, but i dont know if we will always be... i havent seen you in forever, and when i do, im with other people so i dont want to tell you what i need to. i get that you should hang with brooke n brandy but im jeealous, again as always. so i dont know if we are gonna make it buddy. and that makes me sad.

katie:i think your learning i dont agree with what everyone says and thinks. like i dont agree that people should make stupid things their main priority or fall in love when we are still in highschool. i dont exactly know how you react when those situations come up. i think u think i kinda crazy but im just saying what i feel and i want to ket you know i do care about what people think of me but i wont conform to what they think is normal. i like being different.

courtney reggg:this is probably the most positive one! i feel ive gotten so close to you and im so thankful yerr here! i dont know how else to say that you big ball of fun. i will never forget you (or that kid by your locker LOL) need to hang out more!!

jocelyn:i feel as though ive been trying too hard to be your friend--in the past. like you didnt care enough to let me in or like i had to pass some test to be aloud in. and jenna and emily just get in for free. i dont know what is up but that makes me feel like shit. i know ive been getting closer to you but i dont want to work so hard just to know more popular people are there like that. and ive known you for awhile now and id love to think we are great friends but who am i kidding, all the stuff ive told you, what do i know about you. i want to be there for you i do, but you arent letting me. i dunno if its for my looks if im not fun enough or if people dont like me that much... i dont know. but i do know a couple other people who feel this way too. so all i can say to you is: find out who your real friends are find out who has your back try to be the best you can be and dont stom on people who love you. im not saying tahts me either, i have the best times with you and i am so glad we are friends, im sorry im not who you want me to be. if you even read this.



if i am to die, at least let me fly.
to numb the pain; to walk down that merry lane

^means before i die, let me express myself and enjoy myself, and do what i want just to make it a little better.




I HAD A DREAM I COULD BUY MY WAYTO HEAVEN
WHEN I WOKE I SPENT THAT ON A NECKLACE...

i guess i shouldnt forget where i came from