STUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

^that would be my collage of awesomeness!!!!!!!!! awesome!
^Brooke Davis in One tree hill feels alone..... yeah

^two different song lyrics on therr. peyton in the dress (from one tree hill) as u may realize, i draw tons while watching one tree hill..

^^^thats a quote from the character Brooke in the fabulouse tv show One Tree Hill. I thought it was an intense moment therrr.

^that is actually in a song sung by a girl on One Tree Hill, her first performance in front of people. Its called October by Haley James Scott or Bethany Joy Galleotti.

:D ANDIE MCPFIZZLE
i dont think anyone knows how much i love and appreciate Andie Mcphee. (Even though i am guessin on the last name spelling.)
She is my deciple-er and friend
She teaches me and includes me
She leads me and i like to follow
I am honest around her and she doesnt laugh
She asks me deep questions while really caring
She understands my answers even when they r confusing
i dont understand myself yet she finds something to my feelings
and teaches me how God wants me to be
and i dont know how to thank theeeeeee andie mcpheeeeee :]



truthfully i have grown so close to andie. she probably knows the most about me other than A-dawg(asta.) and we are so similar so she reaaaaaaaaallly helps me and i can relate to her and she to me. i feel as though i am struggling in my walk w/ the Lord but she is really helping. I dont know if she knows but the Lord is working through her greatly. I just feel as though i can trust her cause i tell her lotsa shiiit bout me but she also tells me stuff about her life and her struggles loving people and what she has done. Well thank you Andie. And thank you Lord for Andie.








"There is nothing you could do that me and Nicole have already done. learn from our mistakes."Mcphizzle
"Well i haven't gotten pregnant."Wonder
"Oh me neither."Mcphizzle

HAH--she was joking...then it just got funnierrrr :)))))

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I.dunno.just.skip...tis.gayyyyy

If you think you know me, you probably do not. Most people judge me thinking i love to be social and around people and i love to have people over and just gossip all through the night. Well first of all, i love being alone and in the state of mind that just lets me wallow in self pitty over the things i have or trying to make myselfbe a better person--you know just focusing on me. To gossip means nothing to me, a bunch of useless garbage people throw around about eachother beacause their lives are way too boring or out of a jealous rage. Have i ever gossiped before? Of course i am a blonde girl in highschool, what else to you expect me to do. Actually you cant escpape it, if you have friends, you hear it and if they ask you tell them because you do not want to dissapoint them... once again.
One thing i love is jus to stare and think. I swim among the thoughts in my head not knowing what to do with my life but think, analyze people, make things harder for people, and focus on how negative my life is as a fifteen year old highschool student making my way through this pit we call life with a dimly lit candle and those thoughts swirling in my head. I have my leader, but sometimes my candle grows dim (such as now) and i do not know what to do and try to find my way myself. I step on some thorns and next thing you know i am face down wih bloody, but still entwined in the numb fingers is the light picking me up and pulling me away and warming my heart yet again.
Nobody really cares about what i have to say, lets face it: like me and everyone else in this world anyone who would see this would get bored by now and go to their own little world. Tell you the truth i am not saddened by tha fact. I dont know how to say this without sounding like i think im not selfish. Honestly i am one of the most selfish people you may ever meet. Its about how selfish i am not to care i guess.. maybe. Well i dont feel like writing bout that anymore. im kinda happy and i dont want to ruin that.

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GOALS

Today in descipleship, one topic led to another and we ended up talking anout setting goals for relationships. And i decided to set some goals for people and when we were talking andie said they all sounded the same.. and i think that has a lot to do with me... Well i realized goals are very good and i think the ones we talked bout for me n friends are a pretty good start. Some deal with Asta and bffs then theres my parents and people like... well b. crazy huh? but i think it will help.

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WRITING & CAREERS

Before break in la clase de journalism, we were getting our editorials back from the editors. I was sitting near Chloe and this is very serious to her but what people do not understand is that i enjoy it too. i want to do good and i love it i swear i just do not think i am capable of writing.. anyways so i said something like mine sucked so i just tried to make it better so it sucked worse so i threw in a suckier ending and it sucked.. so i dunno...

and chloe went all WELL YOU BETTER TAKE THIS SERIOUSELY!... and shiznit and that blew me away because this is one thing in lifei have always taken seriousely. I went through my old journals earlier today and there were always updates on our chiurch or family, poems, stories, or songs filling the pages. i liked to write just little 'quotes' i called them that maybe i would get remembered for. one of my favorites was when i wanted to be a photographer or journalist or model.. (haha i know & totally off topic): To be a photographer, yu have to know how to make things lok good and how to make people want it by showing its real beauty.

Writing to me has always been one way of expressing myself. dont hold it against me if i think i suck. this is something i will always take seriousely [repeat] even if i dont have the skill or spelling knowledge its just something i like okay?

i guess what im saying is... i wish i could be a good writer, i swear i would do anything, but no matter what, i do something wrong and its never great its just okay. and i want it to be great. i may be good at poetry but its too soft and emo, so i want to be a good journalist. i want to be a great journalist. and i dont want to be embarrassed. i dont know. im a weird. goodbye.

why cant i be good at art.. ya know?

cyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa